


A Crush Like Oil Paintings and Cellos

by nick_i_kenicki



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Anxiety, Camping, Crushes, Deaf Character, First Kiss, First Love, Flashbacks, Fluff, Gay Panic, Light Angst, M/M, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 15:30:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19231936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nick_i_kenicki/pseuds/nick_i_kenicki
Summary: In which the kids really do go on their trip to camp and Grizz realizes comparing a boy to art or music perhaps means something more than friendship. Alternatively, love is really hard when you're gay, have anxiety, and don't know sign language.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We live... in a society......  
> Also yeah no beta reader so I apologize for any mistakes but I promise I'm literate. Also yuh a pretentious title from ya boy.

The morning of the trip, by some miracle stroke of luck, Grizz avoided sleeping through his 6am alarm. He set it early to give himself time to get all his gear ready. He turned off the alarm on his phone, nightstand clock, and wristwatch with a few seconds to spare before the noise began. He was thankful woke up before the alarm for once because all three watches probably would have set off his mother. She was just down the hall, far enough for privacy but close enough to feel suffocated. It was nearly impossible to do anything but homework and workouts when she was right there. 

 

Grizz realized he was stalling and heaved up so he was sitting on the edge of his bed. He had his bag already packed and ready to go by his closet door. Next to the bag sat two smaller ones he had packed for Jason and Clark. They were meager plastic bags with some underwear and snacks that Grizz packed just in case they forgot their bags. He thought about it but decided against packing one Luke seeing as Helena was probably up right now packing for the both of them.

 

A little unsteady because of the grogginess, Grizz stumbled from his bed to the bathroom. He used it, took a quick shower, then got dressed. His Mom had set clothes out for him the night before, but there was no reason to. Grizz was going with his usual look. Jeans, a clean tee, and the piece de resistance. His jacket. He was sure the other guys would be wearing their Letterman's jackets too because without fail, they always did. That was what being a team was all about. 

 

Grizz looked at himself in the mirror all dressed up and regarded the reflection that stared back. The guy in the mirror was tall, slim, had a little acne, but no worse than his other peers. He wasn't a knockout. The guys ribbed him enough to know that, but he wasn't ugly. Was he? Grizz forced a smile and groaned. Maybe it was how his hair framed his face. 

 

Grizz had to convince both his mom and the guys for weeks that normal guys grew their hair out. He wanted it long, like down his back long. He wasn't sure why, but when finally got his mom's permission to grow it out it felt like a win. Grizz realized later on that one baby step on his Mom's part meant very little in the grand scheme of things. He would never be normal. He sighed and pulled his hair into a ponytail before leaving the bathroom. What exactly was normal anyways?

 

Eventually, the sun peeked through the clouds and the clock signaled it was almost time to go. Grizz ate a large breakfast that his mom insisted on cooking once she got up. She nagged him about his travel bag while they ate. "Are you sure you have everything Gareth?" She asked while pouring him a cup of orange juice. "Yeah Mom I got it all", he answered back. She had no idea how early he had gotten up just to be sure. It was probably easier for her to assume he was like the teenage boys on TV who had the preparedness of a toddler. Grizz just let her think whatever she wanted.

 

"Whatever I don't have will just have to be left behind. I have to go", Grizz said with a little shrug. He got up and downed his orange juice. His mom waved him off with a little shake of her head. They hadn't really been talking. Grizz suspected she knew a little more about his personal life than she let on. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that all his friends had girlfriends except him or if it had something to do with the poetry he had accidentally left out. It was nothing damning but there certainly weren't any pronouns in the passage for a reason. 

 

Grizz ignored the anxiety bubbling in his throat and ducked out of the house with a quick, "Bye. Love you." He hopped on his bike before his Mom could decide if the feelings were mutual and pedaled to Clark's house. Clark lived closest to the school so he and the guys would drop their bikes there first before walking to the school.

 

When Grizz arrived, Clark was waiting slumped on the porch. He looked out of it. Jason was sitting with his eyes closed in the lawn chair next to him. They didn't react when Grizz joined them on the stoop. After a moment of silence. Grizz spoke. "So I'm guessing you two kept smoking after Luke and I left". Clark rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah smart guy? What gives you that impression?" Grizz shrugged. "Well I'm not sure, other than the fact that you two look like shit, can't talk for shit, and smell like shit. I couldn't say."

 

Grizz laughed while Jason punched his shoulder. "Shut up fucker." They continued to banter until Luke walked up. He looked tired. Helena probably made her wakeup calls early. "It's too damn early for all this noise", he said with one hand buried deep in his pockets and the other holding his bike steady. "Yeah well poindexter here seems to think we have a weed hangover", Clark spoke up. Luke just sighed. "Do I look like I care, dude. You can sleep it off on the bus, we gotta get going."

 

The guys all urged themselves up with some mild grumbling and started their trek to the school. 

 

…

 

The grounds were filled with kids and their parents. Grizz was internally grateful that he and the guys all decided to wear their Letterman's jackets afterall, because otherwise he would have felt out of place. Since they were all matching, it was obvious they were a team. Not that they played for the same team, so to speak. Grizz internally groaned at his own joke and scanned the crowd while his friends looked for their girlfriends.

 

There were surprisingly a lot of kids he didn't know. Semi-familiar faces and parents he definitely couldn't even begin to guess. It was like everybody had somebody. Even kids that were known loners were either with family or friend groups. Grizz wasn't sure if he liked it. He also couldn't be too sure that he wasn't jist jealous.

 

Before Grizz could think on it too much more, Luke spotted Helena and ran to catch up with her. The guys ribbed at him and called him whipped as he left. Luke stuck up a middle finger as he ran and went on without looking back. After a moment of milling around a little more, Gwen found them. "Gotcha!" She said as she came from behind to hug Clark. He laughed and spun her like they hadn't just seen each other yesterday. Jason fake retched with Grizz, but went back on his attitude when Erika came soon after.

 

"So who are you sitting with Grizz?" Gwen asked with a sweet little smile once they got settled in line with the other students. Grizz had kind of forgotten that all the guys had other friends before they left and naively thought they'd all sit together. He hadn't really planned for this. He looked around briefly to see if he had any acquaintances that wouldn't mind him tagging along with them.

 

There was Allie, Will, and Cassandra. They were nice but they looked like they were already set. He didn't know them well enough to just elbow his way in either. Even though he was cool with Cassandra, Will and Allie knew him as a jock. Expendable, brainless. He couldn't be upset though, how could he expect them to consider him worth more than his own friends did?

 

The same went for Bean and Gordie who were talking animatedly about some astronomy project. Grizz was interested. He was always interested in what they had to say, but the thought of jumping in with the wrong fact and getting potentially excommunicated from the nerds of all groups, was a big turn off.

 

Grizz was about to open his mouth and admit that he didn't have anybody else to hang out with, when he saw them. Becca Gelb and Sam Eliot. He felt a flush of emotion and heat touch his ears. They were signing so fast that Grizz could barely even begin to guess what the translations were. They were also laughing. Sam's face absolutely lit up whenever he laughed. It looked like they were telling a long joke, the kind you couldn't get through without cracking up. Grizz felt the urge to be in on it too. He clenched his fist so hard his nails left crescent shaped marks on his palm and finally answered.

 

"I was thinking about maybe hanging out with Sam and Becca."

 

Erika quirked an eyebrow. "Sam as in the gay, deaf kid?" Jason shook his head and laughed a little, "Yeah dude, Sam and his hag? Really? What is up with you?" Luke and Helena had rejoined them by then so he shushed the others "Leave him alone, he probably just wants to hang out with Becca. It's about time he got a girlfriend anyways." Grizz laughed, then realized Luke was serious. He also realized how much the ruse of wanting to hang out with Becca would help him.

 

Grizz was gay. He had been for a long time, but he didn't actively recognize he was till a few years ago.

 

The scene was ninth grade, in a museum a few hours from their school. It was the biggest one in the area as far as the guides claimed. He was fourteen and had just joined football with the guys. Back then, none of them were dating and they all had that freshman year glow. Grizz knew Jason, Clark, and Luke were going to be his friends for a long time if not forever.

 

They would probably play football together all through highschool, go to the same universities,  and get married at the same time. Grizz wasn't sure at the time why the thought of marriage was hazy, but he ignored it.

Right before going into the museum, the teachers had told them to be mature. They had even sent permission slips home beforehand to make sure the adults were fine with their students seeing what they were going to see. Grizz' Mom didn't read the fine print when she signed. Neither had Grizz apparently because when he waltzed in with his friends, the air was knocked out of him.

 

There it was. No. There he was. The culmination of every hot faced dream and sidelong glance he'd ever had. Years of questioning and worrying wrapped up with a nice, little bow. It was a painting of a man, a classic seen by the gentle strokes of oil paint. He was lying together with another man, dying like a Grecian tragedy in the perfect nude. The picture waited there in the center of the room where the skylight hit it just right, as if calling all eyes to it.

 

Seeing it in person was striking. It was like the curator left his core to hang out in the open and air dry after a brutal storm. The teacher led students around the wall, passing the main painting as if it was something one could do so easily. Grizz hung back from his friends and approached it.

 

He looked up. It was on such a large scale that the nudity was glaring. There was nowhere else to look. In his defense though, Grizz noticed the curls first. They framed the subject's face in such a delicate way. He hadn't realized a man's face could be so beautiful before. 

 

His eyes wandered down over his glistening chest and past his taut abdomen until- oh. Grizz 

looked away with a hot face. Why did it feel weird? Seeing another guy should not have been weird, right? Grizz looked over his shoulder to where Clark and Jason were snickering about a statuette's bare breasts. 

 

With a lot of effort, Grizz tore himself away from the painting and rejoined his friends in the line. Even though nothing had changed, he felt different. Almost like he was hiding something. Across from gis group, another student he didn't know well yet was staring at him. At the time Grizz knew nothing about the boy other than that he was Campbell's brother. His heart raced when he saw him though. It was like they realized something about each other at once, but neither spoke on it.

 

Grizz flashed forward and was suddenly back with friends in front of the buses. The guys were still looking at him, expectant. He kept his eyes on Sam and Becca then answered, "Yeah. Well maybe I do have a little crush."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know each other, fast friends, and semi burned bridges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proof reading? Who's she?  
> Also on a serious note, Sam talks alot this chapter and since I'm not a deaf individual, I'm not sure if I did everything okay. It's implied that in my fic that he talks the way he does in the show. I just thought it would be a little disrespectful to write him as inarticulate so I didn't. He does have the same speech though and I just wanted to make that clear before without making a mockery of him.

Grizz sat behind Becca and Sam on the bus. He didn't exactly introduce himself or greet them. He just sat there and laughed when they laughed like an alien who didn't quite get the concept of jokes but wanted desperately to fit in. In retrospect, Grizz couldn't say that wasn't true. Even though it was awkward, he leaned over his seat and looked at things they pointed out to each other. For the most part, they ignored him, but Grizz noticed they signed and spoke even when they didn't have to so it was something.

 

"Isn't the skyline so pretty?" Becca asked Sam while signing. They looked out in awe. Grizz peeked over and saw where the golden fields met the crystalline sky. While they stared out, Grizz looked at Sam's profile and noticed that the blue in the sky was almost the same color as Sam's eyes. They were sparkling. Absentmindedly, Grizz commented," It's beautiful." 

 

Becca glanced back at him, then signed something to Sam. He pushed her shoulder and they laughed. Neither bothered to translate. Grizz committed the sign to memory to look up later. 

 

Eventually, after a long awkward ride, Sam moved a little so his body language was more open. He was subtly inviting Grizz in. He signed something to Becca that made her raise her eyebrows but just shrugged and obliged. He signed and mouthed something Grizz couldn't quite understand. He was pretty sure Sam said something about "nice" though. Becca turned all the way in her seat before Grizz could contemplate it too much hough.

 

"So Grizz, why did you decide to sit with us?" She asked. "I heard you were cool, but if you want to make fun of us I won't hesitate to beat you up." Sam rolled his eyes. Even when she wasn't signing, it was obvious he got the gist of it. That's how well they knew each other. Sam turned to Grizz to see his answer with even eyes.They were like a spotlight. Grizz put up his hands in defense. "I would never. I actually had an art history class with the both of you freshman year. We never really talked but I knew you two were nice. Also people said I was cool?"

 

Becca translated to Sam and they both laughed again. They both seemed less tense. Grizz took the opportunity. "And uh, since we're on the subject, can I ask what 'cool' is in sign language?" Sam's face lit up and he made two symbols that looked like a C and an L with his hand. Grizz repeated it a few times and smiled when Sam gave him a nod of approval.

 

That was it. The definition of fast friends hadn't met Sam and Grizz because they clicked faster than they had ever clicked with anyone else before. The rest of the bus ride was spent teaching Grizz the alphabet in ASL. When the sun started to set and everybody fell asleep, Sam moved from his seat with Becca to Grizz' side so they didn't wake her up. 

 

Suddenly they were shoulder to shoulder and Sam was so warm that Grizz could barely focus on the lesson. "Pay attention", Sam said with a husky whisper. He grabbed Grizz' hands and formed letters. "Ok?" Grizz couldn't help but grin while he signed back. "Ok."

 

After another hour of learning and getting things wrong on purpose so Sam would touch his hand, Grizz started to nod off. Sam noticed how drowsy he was and patted his shoulder. "Go to sleep. You can use me as a pillow ", he whispered. 

 

Grizz looked around the bus and saw that basically everybody was asleep. Even Helena who would usually boast a strong front, was dozing in the crook of a groggy-eyed Luke. Across from them, Clark had his jacket spread over him and Gwen like a blanket. One seat behind them, Jason and Erika were basically wrapped around each other like they had fallen asleep mid makeout. Something tugged at his heart. 

 

He thought it wasn't fair that they could do whatever they wanted in public without a second glance. It wasn't fair that they could just sleep next to somebody so carefree. When everybody got up, they wouldn't have to break apart like they had the plague. They didn't have to worry about being seen. Grizz sucked in a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. He would just have to take what he could get. 

 

Sam smiled and patted his shoulder again. 

 

Grizz didn't want to get presumptuous. The guys did what the did because they had girlfriends. Despite the atmosphere, he and Sam were just friends. And friends weren't weird about touching each other.

 

With that, Grizz adjusted himself in a (somewhat uncomfortable) lean so he was lying into Sam. Grizz felt Sam's little hum of approval vibrate his whole body. It was certainly something he could get used to.

 

…

 

Grizz didn't realize he had fallen asleep till he felt the bus stop. It was maybe 8am as far as Grizz could tell and students around them were starting to stir awake. He felt a weight on his side and remembered Sam. He had fallen asleep too and had nestled against Grizz' head sometime during the night. His light curls tickled Grizz' forehead.

 

Gently, Grizz shook Sam's shoulder. He tried not to stare too long as Sam woke up. His eyelashes fluttered like a doll and Grizz desperately wanted to touch them, but ignored the urge. He made a small circle with his palm up and said. "We're here." Sam yawned with a sleepy smile and said, "You remembered some." 

 

Grizz was about to say more but he noticed Clark move to get to the front of the bus, so he scooted a little closer to the window to put some distance between Sam and him. Sam looked confused but Grizz just nodded at Clark and offered him a finger gun as greeting. Dam looked taken aback, then looked from Grizz to Clark.

 

Luckily for him, Clark didn't stop to make a comment. In fact he barely noticed them because they had arrived. Sam shifted a little, obviously uncomfortable but he said nothing. Grizz hopped up to follow the guys and touched Sam's shoulder while he left the seat. "Sorry," he offered. Sam just smiled and shrugged like he understood. Grizz knew with his ever fiber that he was making it worse, but he didn't know what else to do. 

 

Outside the bus, Clark and Jason tossed around a football one of them had brought while Luke and Helena had a quiet argument about a missing bag. She huffed and stormed off to hang out with some of her girl friends. Luke greeted Grizz with their special handshake and said, "I was gonna get on you for hanging out with Sam the entire bus ride but I get it now dude. If you wanna be Becca's lover, you gotta get with her friends. Helena's always mad because I don't like her friends."

 

Grizz wanted to correct everything about Luke's sentiment but he bit his tongue and let his friends talk. "Yeah, it's not worth it sometimes", Clark piped in. "Gwen nagged me the whole time for smelling like weed. What was I supposed to do about that?" Jason tossed his football to Clark. "I don't know man. Take a shower?" 

 

Grizz laughed at that one and for a moment he felt right again. It was who he was supposed to be. He was in his place with the guys. A cog in the system that was being a straight jock. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Becca rubbing Sam's shoulder. At least they had each other.

 

Before Grizz could justify it anymore, a camp counselor whistled and began a long spiel about the purpose of camp. He spouted off some rhetoric about the value of nature and hard work, a speech Grizz was pretty sure he could recite from memory because of his many years in boy scouts. When the counselor realized his audience was a tougher crowd than he'd originally planned for, he called in other counselors to divide the class.

 

"We'll be breaking you guys up by boys and girls now. We want to make sure we all have safe, clean fun this week so let's have all the boys move to the left, please." He yelled over the commotion of the crowd. The couples parted begrudgingly and Grizz felt a little seed of panic raise in his throat. He looked back again to see Becca signing something to Sam. He nodded and squeezed her hand before moving to the boy's side.

 

Becca started talking to a group of girls and followed the female counselor away but Sam stood alone. He squinted at the guys leading them to the cabins like he was trying to read their lips from afar. It was impossible though. They didn't even have an interpreter which Grizz thought was ridiculous. They knew Sam was going to be coming. Why didn't they prepare?

 

"What's up dude?" Jason asked with a laugh. "Worried about your new best friend?" Grizz didn't laugh. "Actually yeah, for your information. How's he supposed to know what's happening if nobody tells him?" Luke grabbed his shoulder. "Woah, chill. He's a big boy. He'll figure it out."

 

Grizz knew Sam was perfectly capable, but he didn't want to think about him having to do everything alone. The camp should have been accessible. He shouldn't have had to be just make it. Grizz felt something burning inside and stepped out of line. He looked at his friends and felt frustrated at there oblivion." You know what? I'll catch up with you guys later, okay?" 

 

Grizz jogged to the back of the group where Sam was before his friends could question him. He could almost feel their eyes while they scrutinized him. He didn't care though. A little bit of judgement was worth the weird looks.

 

When Grizz approached, Sam's face lit up into a smile. "He returns", he through a laugh. Grizz shrugged and he couldn't help but grin. "Yeah, well I thought I'd hang out since I was in the neighborhood." Sam made a mock incredulous face and waved his hand. "Oh really?" Grizz tried to mimic the sign but he butchered it so badly, they both burst out laughing. He didn't have to look back at his friends to know they were gossiping.

 

Grizz ignored the anxiety nagging at him and talked with Sam. They followed the group down a long path into the woods until one of the counselors stopped and yelled into a megaphone. "Okay! You boys can pick four friends to room with since each cabin houses five!" Boys started scrambling and Sam asked quietly,"What did he say?" Grizz translated as best he could. Ahead, Luke and the guys caught his eye. They were talking to two guys from the team. Welp, there went that bridge. 

 

Grizz turned away from them and tugged on Sam's sleeve so they could get to the nearest open cabin first. After a little bit of squabbling with another group of guys, they found a dank little cabin close to the water with just enough room for them left. 

 

Three boys that Grizz recognized as nice cinephiles stood outside the cabin. One offered a peace sign. Grizz briefly wondered what it meant before realizing it wasn't ASLand returned the gesture. The other guys were standoffish, but Grizz decided that introverted was better than aggressive. They didn't say much or seem to care about their presence which was good because Grizz was fine with just having his quiet conversations with Sam.

 

After more headcounts and roll calls a counselor came and unlocked the door to their room. The cabin was exactly what Grizz expected it to be but somehow worse. It was small, sweaty, and perhaps meant for kids younger than them by the tiny chairs and short beds. Everything was stacked up so they could fit as many people in one cabin as possible. Sam forced a polite smile when they stepped in.

 

There were five beds. Two bunk beds and a couch bed in the corner. One of the guys threw his stuff on the couch as an instant claim. The other two climbed to the top bunks like those were somehow even slightly desirable. Grizz didn't mind though, he and Sam had the bottom beds that faced each other.

 

After some unpacking, the other boys left while having a conversation about some TV show. When the door closed, Sam flipped on his bed and turned towards Grizz who was sitting on the edge of his. His smile was pleased and it was so infectious. "They seem fun", he said. He propped his face up on his hands. His eyes were so bright that Grizz had a hard time answering. "Yeah and I think they might know me."

 

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah that is good. I just hope none of them are uncomfortable with me." Grizz knit his eyebrows and moved from his bed to the edge of Sam's. "Why would anybody be uncomfortable around you Sam?" There was a long pause before Sam spoke again and when he did, his voice sounded strained. Perhaps all the talking was a lot on him.

 

"You know Becca's been my friend since middle school", Sam spoke and moved so he could sign at the same time. "She worries about me so much and stands up for me like I'm helpless. But I'm not helpless." He took a deep breath and lowered his voice so it was barely above a whisper. "I see that in you." Sam's eyes got serious as he continued. "So I want you to know that I'm gay."

 

Grizz' heartbeat thumped in his ears. It was somewhat common knowledge but it still hit him like a clean right hook. He met Sam's gaze and realized he had to say something so he didn't give the wrong impression.

 

"Sam, I could never be uncomfortable with you. Screw everybody else."

 

Sam signed and mouthed, "You're sweet."

 

Grizz felt a tinge of pink touch his cheeks.

 

…

 

They spent the next few hours talking about everything. Laying together on Sam's bed while the sun set. Outside the cabin,Grizz noticed the sounds of kids running around and busy counselors trying to corral them. He was sure they were supposed to be with them, but he couldn't tear himself away. 

 

Eventually a voice from the speakers outside boomed, "Calling all boys to the mess hall for dinner! Repeat, calling all boys to the mess hall!" Grizz told Sam what the speaker said and he groaned. "I don't wanna go", he said. Grizz stood and offered Sam a hand. "Me neither, but I'd hate to get in trouble on day one."

 

Sam took Grizz' help and got up. He reluctantly put on his shoes, taking as long as physically possible. Grizz understood. He wanted to lay and talk forever, but they already had so many eyes on them, skipping dinner together wouldn't look great.

 

Just as Grizz was about to walk out, Sam said, "Wait." Grizz turned to see Sam on his tiptoes behind him. They were face to face and his heart stalled. With very little reservation, Sam's hands snaked up the nape of  Grizz' neck and combed through the shorter flyaways that hadn't quite grown enough to ponytail. He stood undid the bun Grizz had tied earlier. 

 

"Why…?" Grizz asked, trying his best to make sure Sam saw him speaking while also doing his best to avoid making eye contact. Being close was already too much, the thought of actually looking him in the eyes while he played with his hair was unbearable. Sam did a wide motion with his hands and mouthed. "Messy." 

 

With a swift movement, suddenly all Grizz could see were his own bangs. "I don't know Sam, this may be a dealbreaker. I don't know if we can manage being deaf and blind." Sam gave a husky little laugh and parted the bangs in the middle. "Other people manage just fine." Grizz felt himself smiling, then pinched Sam's cheek. "You weren't even fixing it were you? You just wanted an excuse to stall, didn't you?" Sam playfully brushed Grizz' hand off and signed while spoke. "Okay Grandma, you got me."

 

Grizz hesitated for a heartbeat, then pulled Sam's hands back into his hair. "You can go ahead. I don't mind." He made sure to peek under his hands so Sam could read his lips. Sam smiled and more gently, played with some of the strands behind his ears. The sensation was unspeakably nice. Tender, warm fingers against cool skin. It was feather light but almost too much. It took everything in Grizz' power not to move. He was scared that even a little nudge would make Sam wake up from whatever dream was possessing him to be so sweet.

 

Absentmindedly, Sam signed something with his free hand. His fingers waved over his face like a fan. He was in his own little world, so when he lost his center of gravity, he lunged backwards a little bit. Grizz caught Sam with both hands planted firmly on his waist. They stared at each other for a moment. Grizz blinked. "Be careful. And uh, what did that sign mean?"

 

Sam paused and leaned back into Grizz' grasp. He untensed so it was like Grizz was holding him in a sort of half hug. He thought for a moment about how to say it and bit his lip like he didn't want to speak. Then his clear eyes flicked up so he could watch Grizz, perhaps gauging a reaction.

 

"Beautiful. Your hair." 

 

The way he said beautiful was so soft. Grizz felt it run through him like how a low note on a cello shook the stage around it. It was the moment with the painting all over again but stronger. Grizz wasn't afraid, he was overwhelmed. Heat spread across his face as he took everything in. "Oh . . . Thank you." With his free hand he signed thank you.

 

Grizz realized all at once that he had been holding Sam's waist the whole time and let him go. It was different and when he was with the guys. Grizz arguably never initiated physical contact with his friends outside of practice. It was football so the sweetest thing the guys ever did was tackle each other. 

 

He had never hugged a boy like he did Sam or let a boy touch his hair. Also he couldn't remember the last time he laughed so hard that he got red in the face. With the guys it was going through the motions, but with Sam, everything felt at stake.

 

Then Grizz understood.

 

They had been flirting. Or rather, he had been subconsciously flirting and Sam had been flirting right back. Grizz was in no way privy to the intricate dance called love, but he was smart enough to know that Sam wasn't just being nice anymore.

 

As soon as it dawned on him, Grizz could barely contain himself. He like a boy. He liked a real life boy! Not only that, but he was pretty sure Sam liked him back. Or at least felt something. Grizz felt a smile ebb to his face. 

 

"You know what? Maybe we should skip dinner."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this one. I've been working to pump these out on nothing but a wish and a dream of gram being happy in season 2.  
> (Also thanks for all the nice comments on chapyer 1. I wanted to reply to all of them but I literally almost cried reading them. I didn't expect such positive feedback lol)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some progress at a late night location.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder no beta so Im sorry about mistakes, also wrote at literally 2am so yeah lol. This is the penultimate chapter and the climax of the story. Thanks for your patience.

The next few days at camp confirmed a lot of things for Grizz that he wasn't sure about before. 

 

First, he knew he was in fact, in love with Sam. He'd had crushes before, fleeting and indiscriminate. He'd had a million of them in his life and almost all of them fizzled into nothingness. For God's sake, he had almost toyed around with having a crush on Luke back during freshman year. That was, of course, before he realized at a particularly grueling sleepover that his friends collectively shared the intelligence and foresight of a drunken baboon. 

 

Needless to say, the whispers of crushes he had usually always disappeared within the same day. So Grizz decided that it was fair to say most of his crushes were just guys he found attractive at first glance. Smiley, helpful, a little mysterious. He wouldn't say he had a type, he just knew the guys he fell for always seemed so sweet. That is until they turned him off with their utter lack of emotional depth. There was a saying for guys like that. Flowers without scents.

 

With Sam though, things were different. He was a whole bouquet, alive and beautiful. He hit every single string in Grizz' heart with flying colors. His eyes captured Grizz with their intensity and beyond the language barrier, he always had the right words. Being friends and being together was like an oasis. It didn't feel real.

 

Some nights, after ditching the football team and Becca, Grizz and Sam would sneak away from the mess hall with their dinner trays. They'd trek back to the cabin, push the beds together and eat in with the lights down low so they didn't get caught. They'd laugh and hide when an adult walked through so most of their time was spent sitting on the floor with their knees drawn up to their chests laughing. 

 

The guys got on his neck about why he was always missing, but Grizz either kept quiet or made excuses. He wasn't ashamed of being friends with Sam, but he wanted to keep it sacred. It was like their little secret. The thought of the guys jumping between them or taking up their time together was agonizing. Sam made less afraid and that made him adventurous.

 

One night, Grizz woke up at 2am. The rest of their cabin was asleep except for Sam, whose smile was illuminated by the light of his phone in the pitch darkness. Grizz almost waved to get his attention, but couldn't take his eyes off of Sam's face. He amused, probably going back over the memes they had sent each other throughout the day. It was hard for Grizz not to smile too.

 

He stopped stalling, reached for his phone, unlocked it, and clicked Sam's picture on his text list. The picture was one of Sam with a daisy flower crown Becca had made during her craft lesson. They both jokingly gushed over Sam until he got too shy to keep it on. The picture was snapped mid laugh when the sun hit Sam's face just right. It made Grizz' heart flutter to stare at it too long, so he swiped up and began a text.

 

Can't sleep?

 

There was a moment of nothing, then Sam's phone lit up brighter. He read the text, then looked over and smiled. Grizz gave a little wave back. Sam rolled his eyes and texted back.

 

Yup. And I'm bored out of my mind. 

 

Grizz thought for a minute. He looked out of the window nearest to him. It was humid but an otherwise clear night. Their curfew had them in bed so early that it was obscene. There was a whole world they were missing when the sun went down. They hadn't even seen the water near their cabins yet. An idea hit him.

 

Well…. do you wanna go on an adventure?

 

Grizz didn't wait for Sam's reply. He got up as quietly as possible so he didn't disturb their roommates and crossed over to sit on the edge of Sam's bed. There was barely enough room on the tiny bed for the both of them so they were basically sitting on top of each other. Sam signed something Grizz recognized. He mouthed, "Ok sure, but where?"

 

Grizz ignored his sense of pride at the basic ASL recognition and finger spelled. "Lake." Sam propped himself up and raised an eyebrow. He looked at their sleeping roommates then typed something on his phone. He flashed it at Grizz.

 

Now?

 

Grizz took the phone from Sam. He knew he could have used his own but he liked the way it felt when their fingers touched. 

 

Yeah, I mean if you're down.

 

Sam thought for a moment, then used Grizz' shoulder to ease up. They were face to face and Grizz could feel his breath on his face. It was the closest they had ever been so he felt flustered, but then he remembered that Sam felt uncomfortable speaking in some situations. It wasn't all about flirting, he reminded himself. Even if Sam looked absolutely gorgeous with bedhead, Grizz snapped out of it. Sam mouthed, "Let's do it." 

 

With that, he got up and slipped on some pants from his book bag. Grizz turned away and put his own jeans back on as quietly as possible. The guys they shared a cabin with slept like logs so nobody stirred when they tip toed out of the room and onto the path out front.

 

For as far as Grizz could see, it was almost pitch black outside. In the distance there were a few lamp posts and some lightning bugs lit up the trail towards the lake. There was usually a security person walking around just to make sure there was no funny business like their little adventure, but they were nowhere to be found. Only the almost full moon provided any light.

 

It was a blessing and a curse because while it gave them some privacy, Grizz already had a hard time understanding even the most basic of signs during the day. The darkness was certainly didn't help. Also, it probably didn't do Sam any favors with lip reading either. Grizz hadn't planned too far ahead but he could see that the darkness was perfect for what he wanted to do next.

 

Grizz reached out for and felt for Sam in the dark. A lump of anxiety burned in his chest because he wasn't sure if he was making the best choice, but before he could rescind, he took a step forward and made contact with warm skin. Grizz felt around more. It was Sam's arm, his wrist, and his warm hands. Grizz gently pulled linked fingers with Sam and pulled him close.

 

He got close to Sam so they could see each other's faces. "So I don't lose you", Grizz said, lifting their hands to rationalize it. Sam tightened his grasp around Grizz' hand and signed two letters with his free hand. "Ok." It was ridiculous and they both knew it, but neither wanted to let go. So they set off down the path toward the lake, hand in hand like a real couple. 

 

The walk was almost silent. The only sound was their feet against the dirt path and crickets in the distance. It felt like they were on a sound stage and a director was going to come out and yell cut after they walked for a while. Even if it was all just a play, Grizz couldn't see himself stop loving Sam. He was in too deep.

 

After some time, they made it to the lake. The water was incredibly still and the moon reflected back like a perfect copy on its surface. That along with the scattered stars that sat like freckles on the sky took Grizz' breath away. Across the water, a single cabin was lit. There were probably a million stories they could come up with together about who it was, but neither of them spoke. 

 

After a while Sam let go of Grizz' hand and stood with his back to the water. The moonlight engulfed him. "I didn't want to be this guy you know", Sam half mouthed and half signed. Blood rushed to Grizz' ears. He didn't know what to expect but he was nervous.

 

"What kind of person?"

 

Sam looked down at his feet and let out a shaky breath. His eyelashes were almost silvery in the light. They framed his eyes like gossamer. Those hesitant, but deep eyes. Sam shook his head ro himself then elaborated. "The kind of guy who falls for his straight friend."

 

Grizz could barely register what Sam had even said. They had been flirting but to think that he felt the same way was unprecedented. His thoughts scrambled.

 

Being with Sam felt like jumping into a black ocean with no bottom in sight. Grizz had no idea how deep it was or what all lived beneath the shore, but he knew for sure that there was something there. Was that glimmer the tell of treasure deep into the abyss? Possibly. Or perhaps it was glittering light of an Anglerfish waiting for its prey.

 

It was almost impossible to tell without jumping in.

 

Grizz thought about how Clark and Gwen met at a party and basically became a couple that day. He thought about how Jason went through girls like it meant nothing. They didn't feel as nervous when they met a girl because to them, despite how gross it seemed, every girl was a possibility. They knew what was at the bottom of those oceans because the water was crystal clear in their eyes. Boy plus girl equaled couple. So trust, they saw treasure every time. However, Grizz could never be sure. Even when he thought he was sure, he couldn't be certain. 

 

It wasn't easy liking boys and Grizz couldn't say what would happen at the end of the field trip, but he could honestly say that Sam made him feel. When they stuck together, it felt right. Those raindrop clear eyes and subtle little smiles sparked in him the same feeling that he felt when he saw that oil painting. It was artistry in real life, tangible and waiting. Grizz was in as much love as Sam was with him. So he decided that no matter the outcome, it was worth the risk.

 

He stepped forward and dove in, like falling into a lake or immersing himself into an orchestra or like looking into painting's eyes for the first time. 

 

Grizz kissed Sam.

 

It was chaste at first, a peck with a symphony of release. Sam seemed surprised and for a moment, Grizz feared that he had royally screwed up, but Sam stepped forward. He reached up and pulled Grizz into a more languid kiss. Something as guided as a dance with little room for error. They were all in.

 

Time seemed to slow when they touched and Grizz felt like he was in the eye of the storm. Sam's hands on his face steadied him. He was a pillar but he was also hungry. They were all hands and lips and when they parted Grizz couldn't tell which stars were real and which were his imagination.

 

They breathed out at the same time and touched foreheads. It was like a certain barrier had been broken. One that had been straining since they met. They opened their eyes so could stare at each other, openly peering deep into each other's souls for the first time. Sam brushed some hair out of Grizz' face, somehow more tender than before.

 

"I guess it wasn't a straight guy", Sam mouthed said with a little smile. He leaned forward and let the ghost of his lips brush over Grizz' mouth. It was like an addictive echo that Grizz ate up. "I guess it wasn't", he replied with a breathless little laugh. 

 

They linked fingers and kissed again under the moon and stars. Everything was pretty as a picture. Unreal and desperately right at the same time. It was like something out of an oil painting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments. I think i accidently deleted a really nice one and I almost cried bc of that lol Next chapter is just some wrap up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year later and the boys are back where they began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient and thanks for all the nice comments. It was hard getting this out so Im sorry if there's any grammar or spelling issues.

It had been a year since they had met. An amazing year of kissing, learning, and talking. Grizz had learned ASL faster than Sam could teach it and was pretty conversational for a beginner. Their dates consisted of kissing literally anywhere there weren't prying eyes which was included, but not limited to: the broom closet at school, Grizz' childhood treehouse, and occasionally Sam's house during babysitting.

 

For honesty's sake, they decided to tell Becca about their relationship. It was getting harder to hide why Sam was always missing. Especially since she cornered him a few weeks before graduation and badgered him about his behavior. She was worried because he usually stuck to her like glue. Since they had gotten back from the trip, he was always gone. The only times she could get ahold of him were when she had her baby appointments. 

 

After Becca gave birth to Eden though, Sam made sure to hang around more since he was her godfather. He knew all the ropes and Becca trusted him to babysit, so she left them alone together all the time since Campbell had moved out.

 

Sam had been vague about the details of his personal life, but when Becca picked Eden up one day and noticed a long dark hair on her, he knew the jig was up. She looked Sam up and down with narrowed eyes and a wry little smile. She signed, "Who's hair is this? It's not yours and I know it isn't hers."  Sam blushed and said that it was nobody. He hadn't planned on telling the truth so soon.

 

"I know that you wouldn't let Eden near anybody you don't trust", Becca signed while thinking."Be honest. It was a guy wasn't it?" She moved forward so they were standing face to face. "And somebody we're friends with right?" Even baby Eden was watching him expectant.

 

Sam cracked under the spotlight told her everything.

 

The reaction was warmer than Sam could have expected. Becca was so sweet and excited that she hugged Grizz hard when they saw each other again. She congratulated them both for dating and like a nosy mother-in-law, volunteered herself to take their graduation pictures at the ceremony.

 

After the announcements, all three of them snuck off. Becca snapped a polaroid photo of Sam and him kissing in their caps and gowns behind the building where their graduation took place. The trees were blooming and sky was a perfect blue. Grizz took the picture from her and tucked it away into his wallet.

 

"People will see every time you go to pay for something", Sam signed.

 

"Let them look", Grizz signed back. He pressed a kiss to Sam's temple while Becca laughed. She snapped about a million pictures before dark.

 

Grizz told the guys about his relationship with Sam a couple of days after graduation. Sam and him talked about it a lot and decided that they wanted all of their friends to know. They were planning something that they wanted their close friends apart of. 

 

The guys had met up to have one last sleepover before the summer football training sessions and college orientations started up. They stayed up almost all night catching up since graduation was such a busy time. He decided to say something late that night, close to midnight.

 

“So guys, as you know, I haven’t been around much lately,” Grizz started while sitting on the edge of the couch across from Luke’s bed. He put some space between them in case the conversation went sour. He knew his friends weren't violently homophobic or anything, but he also knew that they weren't the portrait of open mindedness either. There was no time like the present to find out just how they really felt. "So I wanted to talk about why."

 

The guys were all piled up near the bed. Luke and Clark leaned on the headboard while Jason curled up on the floor. It was the closest they had been in weeks. Clark leaned forward on his palms while Jason and Luke looked up from their phones. Grizz had their attention. Luke made a face. “Yeah dude, we thought you decided to hit the books for graduation or something." Jason sat up.“ Yeah. We didn't know there was, like, an actual reason. So what’s up?”

 

Grizz looked between them. He had seen those faces for years since they were small. The moment was so reminiscent of being a kid with a secret all over again. He indulged in those hungry stares. “I’ve actually been uh . . . seeing somebody”, Grizz said in a little voice. “We’ve been dating for about a year." He held up a hand to stop them before they started to congratulate him. 

 

“It’s Sam.” 

 

They all stopped. After a beat of silence, Clark spoke. “Samantha? That sophomore girl?” He shrugged and leaned back on the bed. “I don’t know dude, she’s kind of weird, but cute I guess. Either way, it's about damn time.” Luke nodded and went back to his phone. “Yeah, it’s only four years too late.” They laughed between together and as Grizz opened his mouth to clarify, Jason started first.

 

“Come on. He wouldn’t date her. I’m sure it’s the Sam from our grade.”

 

Grizz' heart sped up. Here it was.

 

"Samira? The foreign exchange student? Brooo, I didn't even know you knew her." Clark said with wide eyes. 

 

Grizz dropped his forehead to his palm. His friends were genuinely idiots. He wanted to have hollywood style cinematic coming out but it seemed like he would have to just rip off the bandaid. He kept his head in his hands and blurted out. "Sam. As in, the deaf guy. The one in our grade. The one that's gay and that I'm gay for."

 

Jason dropped his phone into his lap with his mouth ajar while Luke and Clark looked at each other. The silence weighed the room down. Grizz opened his mouth but Clark held up a finger this time. He looked pensive. "So you're telling me . . . I was right?"

 

Jason punched him in the shoulder. "Dude!"

 

Grizz knit his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

 

"I saw you guys holding hands last summer at the camp and made a joke that you were actually dating him instead of Becca, but just figured it was a handicap thing." He shook his head, astonished. "To think it really was a gay thing this whole time."  Luke punched him harder this time. "Clark! You can't just say that!" 

 

Grizz laughed a little. Dumb comments were somewhat better than hateful ones. It was a good sign. "Yeah that was when we first started dating. It was . . . nice. And there's this too." Grizz dug his wallet out of his pocket and showed off the picture of Sam and him kissing. The guys looked at the picture like it was evidence of aliens or something. "So you're serious?" Jason asked. "You like kissing guys and all that?" Grizz shrugged, "Well yeah. More like one guy in particular right now but yeah. I'm gay."

 

Luke was the first to speak again. He cleared his throat and said, "It's not the 1950s. We get it and we get you. We uh love you dude and nothing could change that." Jason still looked bewildered but he spoke up too. "Yeah. You're cool. It's cool." Clark just shrugged. "Yeah man, I thought you were trying to make a move on Gwen for awhile there so I'm just glad you're not dating her."

 

Grizz laughed and the guys laughed too. Somehow things felt nicer than they had in a long time between them. Lighter. Suddenly he was in middle school again and they were all just the awkward boys they were when they first met. Friendship wasn't hard back then and it didn't have to be now that they were older.

 

Jason eventually interrupted their ribbing and asked, "Ok so you're dating Sam. But when did you know you were gay?" Grizz smiled involuntarily as he remembered one of the many things he wanted to say and why. "Actually I wanted to talk about that. It was a long time ago at a pretty special place and I was wondering if you guys wanted to come there with us to celebrate our first anniversary."

 

. . .

 

Sam and Grizz held hands while they walked in. He wondered if his fourteen year old self had known that the next time he came back to the museum, it would be with his boyfriend and friends- would he have believed himself? Probably not. He barely believed himself now even though it was a reality. On one side stood Becca, Clark, Jason, and Luke who all chattered amongst themselves. On his other side, his boyfriend watched with attentive eyes.

 

He would have thought it was a dream if the entirety of the building hadn't changed. Almost the entire interior had been renovated over the years. Instead of the bright, modern style it had been before, there was something more traditional about the space. Paintings lined the walls and the minimalist floor plan really made the pieces in the center pop.

 

In the middle of the room, exactly where it had been all those years ago, stood that oil painting.  The light hit it the same, highlighting it from the other pieces."It's here", Grizz signed to Sam. "Same place." He took Sam's hand again and walked him over to the painting.

 

While it was still quite large, it wasn't nearly as massive as he had thought it was as a kid. The colors were still as impressive and the dark eyes of the muse were still piercing. So much so that it felt like he would eventually get up despite being 2D. 

 

Sam studied the picture and watched Grizz. When Grizz caught him looking, Sam smiled and flashed his dimples. "So this is your first love,'' he signed. Grizz rolled his eyes. "Yeah maybe so." He switched to ASL. "You jealous?" Sam laughed and walked forward to get a closer look.

He stood near the base of the painting, then turned and posed like the muse. He could barely contain his excitement.

 

From the other side of the museum Becca jokingly looked disapproving but couldn't help her little smile. The guys, wildly similar to their middle school selves, weren't paying them any attention because of another nude statue. Nobody was really paying them any mind.

 

Grizz moved forward and looked at Sam and the painting at the same time. They looked nothing alike but they had one thing in common. That Grizz loved them. Well, he loved the painting. He was planning on loving Sam forever. "So", Sam spoke and signed a little. "Are we the same?" 

 

Grizz just pulled him into a kiss. Sam melted into the touch and rested his hands around Grizz' shoulders. There was no feeling like being in love in front of the thing that taught him love. Maybe the oil painting muse would look at them and find a different type of yearning. A fully realized love to be jealous of over a snapshot of allure.

 

Grizz pecked Sam again and spoke while signing. "No. But I think I found something more beautiful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay its the end! Thanks for keeping up with me. (Is now a good time to say I used jason and clark interchangeably?) Either way. Stick with me because I probably have more to say about The Society. Thanks byeee!


End file.
